Non-linear progress in therapy means that personal growth and healing don’t happen on a straightforward trajectory. Instead, progress often unfolds in ways that feel unpredictable, choppy, or even sideways
Progress in therapy isn’t always neat. Sometimes it looks like a breakthrough. Other times, it feels like taking three steps back. You might have a great week where everything seems to click—only to suddenly feel stuck, confused, or discouraged the next. This kind of back-and-forth can be frustrating, especially when you’re putting in the effort and genuinely want to feel better.
If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “Why am I still struggling with this?” or “Shouldn’t I be further along by now?”—you’re not alone. These thoughts are incredibly common, and they often reflect a deeper misconception we carry about what healing is “supposed” to look like.
At first, this may sound disheartening. When you’re struggling, it makes sense to want relief, and it makes sense to want that relief to be fast and predictable. In addition, there are also many misconceptions about what therapy is or how it works. Sometimes the media depicts therapy as this magical panacea of sorts- you open up to a stranger, they offer you brilliant insight, and your life dramatically changes for the better.
And while that sounds great in theory, real-life progress tends to be far more nuanced. In reality, the therapeutic journey often feels more like a winding path than a straight line. The good news? That’s not something to fix, it’s a sign that something real is happening. Let’s get into why.
What Does Non-Linear Progress in Therapy Mean?
The truth is that any sustainable change often entails a sense of upheaval. This happens even when the change is desired or feels necessary. From this more existential perspective, it’s important to hold the reality that therapeutic growth includes many twists and turns. With that, you are likely to experience various breakthroughs and setbacks within a course of treatment.
At its core, embracing non-linear progress means accepting that:
Progress can happen in unexpected bursts: Some people gain a sense of momentum in therapy sessions, allowing them to make significant changes in a short amount of time. For example, you may harness an inner courage to quit your job or leave an unhealthy relationship. These desires may show up even if you didn’t originally seek therapy to work on those issues.
Feeling like you’re plateuing or regressing is common: It’s not uncommon to experience relief one week and then struggle with old behaviors the next. This does not mean therapy isn’t working or that your mental health is doomed- instead, it may mean that you’re now moving into deeper layers of processing or healing. Furthermore, in times of stress, it’s incredibly common to revert to old behaviors. This is simply rooted in our survival instincts.
Setbacks are part of the process: Regardless of your therapy goals, obstacles and setbacks happen. Life comes with many unexpected challenges, and it’s typical to struggle to cope with stress or change. The good news is that your setbacks can offer crucial opportunities for rich introspection. You may gain insight into other areas that need attention or compassion.
Treatment goals may change over time: Goal-setting can also be fluid in life and in therapy. For example, you might originally seek treatment because you’re experiencing panic attacks. But, over time, in working through your anxiety, you might also realize you have poor boundaries with loved ones, frequently drink to cope with feeling overwhelmed, and generally intellectualize your emotions. With that, your treatment plan may change and evolve based on how new symptoms or needs unfold.
How Do You Measure Progress in Therapy?
Even though progress may not always feel apparent or consistent, it’s important to feel like you’re still benefiting from your treatment. Good therapy often feels challenging- you may leave sessions either fatigued or invigorated, but you’re often leaving with something insightful to think about.
Here are some other positive signs to keep in mind:
You Have Increased Your Self-Awareness
Cultivating insight is the first step toward making change. Insight in therapy comes in many different forms- sometimes it happens within the session itself, but some people notice it emerging between sessions as they start implementing new changes.
For example, somatic therapies help you increase awareness between your mind and body. You may start recognizing how your chest naturally tightens when you feel angry. Parts work, on the other hand, can make you aware of the different parts of you that have unique needs and desires.
You’re Able to Practice More Self-Compassion
Sometimes it’s not so much about the behaviors but how you cope after engaging in an unwanted behavior. For example, let’s say you’re trying to move on from an unhealthy relationship, but you find yourself texting your ex whenever you feel lonely.
If you’re highly critical of yourself, you might find yourself falling into a shame spiral after reaching out to your ex. This can perpetuate more self-loathing and internal agony. But self-compassion allows you to lean into more self-kindness, giving you more grace for simply being human. We don’t change from a place of shame- we change when we can lean into acceptance and self-love.
You Are Becoming More Comfortable with Vulnerability
The therapeutic relationship offers a compassionate holding space where you are free to share your thoughts, feelings, and needs without judgment. Over time, you ideally become more comfortable sharing about more challenging or shameful experiences. Experiencing safety in those moments is paramount.
Leaning into more vulnerability helps you feel more authentic with yourself. This can deepen the quality of your relationships and help you process emotions with more clarity.
You Have Become More Flexible in How You Manage Challenging Emotions
Successful therapy isn’t necessarily about changing your emotions or even reducing their intensity. Instead, in many cases, progress can be measured by your ability to better tend to different emotions when they arise. In trauma work, this is known as expanding your window of tolerance.
For example, you may realize that you can now bounce back from challenging situations with more ease. Or you may be able to assert your emotions in a more regulated manner. Strengthening your emotion regulation skills is one of the best ways to improve your overall well-being. This takes time, but therapy will show you new ways to understand and work with your emotions (instead of against them).
You Have Been Able to Integrate More Adaptive Coping Skills
People often seek therapy because they want to reduce or eliminate certain behaviors. And while that’s valid, sometimes monitoring progress also entails focusing on what you’ve added into your life.
For example, maybe you now take deep breaths when you feel frustrated. Or you’ve added a morning walk before settling into your busy work day. Maybe you now feel more comfortable reaching out to others when you need support instead of holding everything inside. These coping skills matter, and over time, they can compound into helping you feel more secure and confident in daily life.
Therapy for Complex Trauma, Depression, and Anxiety in Seattle, Washington
All change is hard, but it can also be so meaningful. The journey of deeper self-discovery reveals many rewarding gifts. With that said, non-linear progress is generally a good thing, as it means you’re understanding and integrating change at a pace that’s appropriately suited to you.
As a trauma-focused therapist, I support clients navigating anxiety, life transitions, and other difficult stressors. If you feel disconnected or alone- or like you’re carrying a massive weight of shame– therapy can help you feel more grounded and fulfilled. Even if the change is slow, it tends to be worth it. Together, we’ll collaborate to uncover new ways to harness your inherent strengths and experience more inner peace.
Please contact me today to schedule a complimentary consultation.
